写完今天的博客，我决定封笔。To some extend戒网。当然，我做不到不上网，在如此信息化的城市，我想我做不到，我也不愿意去效仿那些奋青，吃饱了没事跟这个社会这个时代过不去。
从小到大我的身边一直有很多很有个性或者自认为很有个性的朋友。人们似乎常常喜欢把眼光放在别人的身上，希望时时刻刻受到别人的关注，有个朋友曾经很严肃很认真地对我说，她眼中的成功就是得到别人的赞赏。虽然时至今日，她自己或许也有了一些改变，也许这个时候她正在这个城市的某个地方睡得正酣，早就把说过的话扔到了九霄云外。但我们往往就喜欢抓住一些细枝末节，争论不休，最后发现，那只不过是我们臆想出来的东西，这个世界并不是我们一直认为的那样。
一直觉得自己是一个很情绪化的人，这不是什么好事。面对同一个人，有时候我会显得活力四射滔滔不绝，有时候却连声再见都懒得说。这完全是我性格上的缺陷。小时候我是一个内向的人，甚至很骄傲于自己的这种自闭症倾向，认为全世界人都会喜欢这样哑巴型的女孩子。现在也总是有意的逃避那些太喧闹的环境，并且跟某些人始终热络不起来。
站在20岁的生命线上，我还是无法接受一些事情，看到的，听到的，感受到的。都说白羊座是用理性来控制感情的星座，我不相信星座这玩意,但这一点它是说对了,我不喜欢一切不确定的东西,也一直不能理解寝室里那帮姐妹所说的那种暧昧的情感,或许自己曾经错过了几次,大概是因为自己太木纳,或者压根就不想接受。
两个月的博客生活，的确给了我许多启发。同时着实发现自己不是一个善于袒露自己的人，或许博客给了我一个微妙的空间，跟朋友和萍水相逢的人交流。但那样的距离对于我来说太近了，实在消受不起。也许有人会说我不够坦率，不够直接，现在的我已经不介意这些了，别人眼中的自己永远与自己想象的那个闪烁的形象毫不相干。我想我会找到另外一片天空自由飞翔。definitely
当然，对于博客上的那些话，我绝对永远珍藏，虽然平实，但很真实，谢谢你们的鼓励，让我感受到了一种不一样的力量，我不想用任何言语去描述这种感觉，我想你们可以体会的：-）
好了，从小到大看到的电影里面金盆洗手的大侠都是以一个风萧萧易水寒的形象留给观众的。虽然在过去的20年的人生中我没有完成什么可以与“大侠”相提并论的伟绩。但是今天就让我自恋一回，潇洒的走，肉麻的话我也不说了，也说不出来，that’s it!
Farewell, my dear! ：-D enjoy!

 Finally ,I have found my problems,it is somewhat from nature,sth that I can hardly change.maybe someone will find it just an excuse of  my not being brave enough to confront sth.whatever they say! I am not amazing, that is the point ,this is what I must face,definitely!that is sth in the world we can not choose weather to accept which we must face and try our best to solve it ,o say,get used to it.
 I have been here for 20 years,not a short, of course.from my childhood to teenager times and now, it is the time when my life has just begun,as my elder sisiter said on my 20th birthday.she said this is the most beautiful and wonderful time in a human’s life.
  I feel lazy and comfortable at the time,but I know one day when this kind of happy times pass away ,I will be nosatalgic of this ten years.
Maybe it is true that I am just an ordinary girl without any amazing things of my characteristic or appearance.but at least I can sense sth,maybe it is the power from my soul.today the judge of a singing contest say that girl sings with her soul.i like her.she has some kind of quiet power,not energetic and amazing like that girl.i am sure that kind of girl could be called amazing ,I mean,that dancing girl with a lot of enthusiam.
  This week I have been meeting some excellent female.i always could read sth from their expressions,I guess it is because of my seat in the classroom.
I want to be a person with soul,but till now I only have some sense of sth,know sth of everything,that is not a good thing,people always say.
Do not worry,Audrey .that is just because u r too young to understand sth.i was like a little deer who is thisty for growing up before.i tried hard to do all kinds of things, feeling different things without any choice, I can say that. Now what I get is just some sense,sense of life,u bet!
But the life is too long for us to learn,so time comes at its own speed,maybe what I shoud do is just wait and see.
Do not always remember to compete with others,it is a good thing but sometimes I just feel tired ,exhausted and not willing to do so.a famous guy have said,life is like a race,finally our opponent is ourselves, everyone is just like this.
So why bother caring for so much things.Audrey,just relax and make urself comfortable ,nothing will be that precious,just like hua said,u have nothing to fear or lose,that’s it!

 Today I have not revised the ad intepretaion as my dear teacher said ,instead, I turn on the dvd and watched two episode of buffy,although in every episode,the spiritual nice girl always kill the monsters in similar ways,and her friends and that strange Britain guys act like mimic ones, I can not help watching,it is just because I have no choose, I can not find out what I want to see in the shops near my home…L
  But It is ok, practise listening,it is a little faster ,but I can get used to them,continuing searching for what u want,determination!
Today I have done sth to learn.learn to give up, I guess.although I am not willing to,but sometimes we must comprimise to the life.i have a dream ,maybe it is not the right time, I am not ready,I do not want to find any excuse to defend myself.some friends are really amazing,excellent,but the fact is that I am not him or her.l live my own life, “find truth from fact”.it is horrible that one day I lose my own life.
I decide not to call back,a man can do no more than he can.i know what I can do and cannot do.it is me who in this world know who I am.so I believe myself,although this time it is different from the old days.i mean ,previousy I always choose to march,but this time just withdrawing,or u can say,hiding back cause I think I have sth more important to do even if I will run a risk to some extend.
This is life ,full of uncertainties and changes,we never know what kind of chocolate I will get next timeJI have watched Forrest Gump for 2 times,but I still cannot believe the idiot made the miracle,maybe it is true that sometimes fame came to those who never thought of it.
I am young and promising,so do not surrender!!

I decide not to follow the interpretation rules,cause I will not use Chinese to translate my diary yesterday…
Today I really feel frustrated,like an arrogant bird finally find that she can not fly at all.sometimes if a person is over-confident,u know,just like the saying goes,the man can do no more than he can,and find that what he or she believes is definitely wrong, I am sure most of them will fell stupid,at least,embarrassed.
Although form an early age I begin to think I am a person who enjoy losing face and do not care for mistake,today I am totally beaten down by the advanced interpretation and my 15-day-long-classmates.first,a talkative senior highschool man,he is handsome,smart and dare to speak in the public,I like this guy,to be frank,just a little unhappy for his excellence,I guess,anyway,he is just a child.do not mention it!
Another one ,girl,not pretty and average shape,I mean,not very hot,but what she attracts me is her brave spirit and confidence.i am lacking in those things, at least, I was.whatever.
It is just like the crazy English campus experience,but one thingdifferent is those guys here are more reasonable,haha~~I am learning and learning,so it is good,obviously.
The way to achievement of success is really not a short and simple one.those who has never failed is lucky ones.i have some friends like that,till now I have no sense of their experience,and not envy them too strongly.i do not know why,even yesterday I want to become one of those rich guys.but now,no feeling, a little, only a littly~~
Just like what baozi had said there is always sth in this world I can not grasp,then give it up,Audrey.they do not belong to u…do not think of them again and again,just forget,no reason!just do it!if u do not want to end up in sorrow and become a cynical old lady.
Ok, that is all what I want to say.i am sure u find them somewhat disordering.
I am just a big girl, to some extend , a child.so please forgive my offending or sth like that.i love my life! Hahaha~~

Nothing,just want to write sth to prove sth
Torture!but happy one ,at least I find myself worthy.today my honey pc is tortured,I am sad ,maybe he is the only thing which can make my heart beat a little more quickly than normal in this world,of course and my parents ,above my honey pc.
These days I just tell story to myself,cause no one seems interested in my ones,even my dear mother.she finally has found her own life.i am glad to her.but now I am lonely again.my parents seemed my dearest and closest friend in my life.but now they get older and older and they have no energy to share with my sadness.so should I find some else?sign…I am a big big girl in a big big world,just no one find me,maybe cause I am too small to be found.
I am a little disappointed of this world,but not desperate!definitely!!J